Why it is important to recognize men who have survived domestic abuse

View of man's shoes while walking on a sidewalkAccording to data from the US Department of Justice, most close violence (82%) is committed against women. The increased awareness of domestic violence against women prompted an international movement, led to the creation of shelters of domestic violence and helped a generation of women to give up their villains.

Men can also be victims. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of domestic violence and 1 in 7 has been the victim of serious physical violence. The rhetoric against domestic violence has not reached this reality, leaving many male victims with few resources. Some worry that abuse is their fault or a sign of weakness. Others are treated with frustration and stigma when they ask for help.

Treatment can help victims of male abuse identify signs of abuse, understand that they are not their own fault, leave abusive associates, and recover from the long-term trauma of abuse. In order for men to get the support they need, the discussion about domestic violence should include them.

Domestic violence against men: What are the facts?

Amongst 5-7% of men's deaths are killed by close partners. This figure is smaller than the number of female homicide victims killed by close partners (55%), but it shows that domestic violence is more than a hassle or annoyance. He can kill the men.

Even when men are the victims, most domestic violence perpetrators are men. However, women can and abuse their partners. A 2005 study on domestic violence arrests in Tennessee showed that 16% of perpetrators were women. A 2002 Air Force Staff study put the figure even higher, finding that 23% of the thugs were women.

The 1990 National Violence Survey found similar rates of self-reported domestic abuse among women and men. Spouses reported that they are committing violence at 12.4%, compared to 11.6% of spouses.

Men who have romantic relationships with men face an even higher rate of domestic abuse. A 2018 study for 160 male-male couples in three different cities found that 46% of respondents reported having experienced some form of domestic violence in the past year.

Investigations into domestic violence among unrelated populations and transsexuals are still in their infancy. The percentages of many forms of violence are higher among men who do not comply with gender, so domestic violence is likely to prevail in non-compliant sex groups. Violence against transsexuals and unrelated individuals often uses their identity and vulnerabilities as a means of control and exploitation. For example, an abusive partner may be threatening to take an employer out of a transsexual.

Intersection of oppression can lead to further consequences of domestic violence. A five-year study at the University of Texas showed that black and Latinx couples are 2-3 times more likely to report domestic violence. Differences in access to power and privileges may exacerbate the effects of domestic abuse. For example, high profile stories about police shots by unarmed black people may make survivors of black male abuse more reluctant to contact law enforcement agencies for help.

Diffused myths about domestic violence against men can prevent men from seeking help. Even when they ask for help, men face an uphill battle to find resources.

"I'm serious": overcoming the obstacle of mistrust

Survivors of domestic abuse of all sexes and backgrounds can fight by persuading people to believe their claims. Abusers may look super-nice and use it for their benefit. Male survivors are even more likely to struggle to accept accepting their claims. Some of the obstacles faced by male survivors include:

  • The mistrust that the perpetrator could be abusive. If the offender is handsome, friendly or well-respected, people are often reluctant to believe they are abusive. In some cases, they may wonder what the survivor did to "induce" the villain. When the villain is a woman, it can be even harder to persuade people that a seemingly "nice" person behaves violently.
  • Myths of the sexes. The notion that women are weak or naturally non-violent jobs against surviving men when the actor is a woman. Attendees may think that it is impossible for a woman to overcome a person or to believe that if the man really wanted to fight, he could.
  • Homophobia. The homophobic belief that being a victim of abuse makes a person weak and therefore homosexual, permeates in some communities. Simple men who are afraid of being homosexual may be reluctant to report their abuse. Homosexual or bisexual survivors may be concerned that people will blame their abuse for their sexuality.
  • Crossing oppressions. Men experiencing other forms of oppression, such as racism or capitalism, may be more reluctant to report their abuse. A disabled person, for example, may be afraid that reporting abuse will make others see him as weak. A person of color can fear the police even more than they fear their villain.

Is there a lack of access to resources for men?

Diffused myths about domestic violence against men can prevent men from seeking help. Even when they ask for help, men face an uphill battle to find resources.

A study of 302 heterosexuals who sought help from hotline hotlines found that most did not receive the help they needed. Sixty-four percent of open-label workers told men that the hotline only served women. In 32% of cases, the abused men reported on criminals, suggesting that the person who received the call did not believe the caller was in need of help. Sixty-nine percent of the participants reported that their invitation to a telephone line "was not helpful".

Abstaining from an abusive relationship can be dangerous. Research consistently shows that users are more likely to kill their partners in the weeks after the relationship ends. Domestic violence shelters can provide a safe place for people escaping abuse, especially when the abuser also controls access to financial resources. However, most shelters cover only women. Even the lodgings open to men have a limited number of beds available. Men may have to wait months to gain access to a shelter, assuming that a shelter is unavailable at all.

Immediate intervention by law enforcement immediately after an act of domestic violence can save lives. For decades, women's rights groups have put pressure on the police stations to deal seriously with the partner's sexual violence. While the culture of some police services on the victims of women has changed, men are still not believed in many cases. The police can not abuse the men seriously or even underestimate the men who claim to be victims.

Adding exclusivity to the IPV chat

Extensive discussions about concepts such as male toxicity, misogyny, and male abuse have caused men to be abused at the forefront of our collective consciousness. This has the power to promote major social changes. But the widespread nature of men's violence conceals a lesser known problem: violence against men. Discussions about the violence committed by a man and a victim are stigmatization. They support inaccurate gender myths, support a false divisive sex, and prevent people who need help to seek it.

In treatment, providers need to take seriously the possibility of abuse of men, women and people of all sexes. Therapists who worry about couples' violence should talk to both members of the couple about their experiences with violence rather than assume that the perpetrator is a man.

It is equally important for friends and family to pay attention to the impact of domestic violence on men. Domestic violence is not funny. A man who shares an experience with close marital violence has been at significant risk. Listen to him. Support offer. Assure him that he is not alone.

Only by deciphering the revelations of violence can we begin to cultivate a culture of abuse. Male victims are also important.

Bibliographical references:

  1. Domestic violence varies according to nationality. (2018, June 10). Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/domestic-violence-varies-by-ethnicity-62648
  2. Black, M. C., Basile, K. C., Breiding, M. J., Smith, S. G., Waters, M. L., Merrick, M. T., . . Stevens, M. R. (2011). Summary report of national partner and sexual violence 2010. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVS-StateReportBook.pdf
  3. Khazan, O. (2017, July 24). Nearly half of all murdered women are killed by romantic associates. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/07/homicides-women/534306
  4. Men Survivors of Domestic Violence. (2017). Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Retrieved from http://www.pcadv.org/Learn more / PCADV-Publications / STOP-TA-Bulletins / # SpotID_16429
  5. Researcher: What happens when battered men call for immediate lines of violence and shelters? (n.d.). Retrieved from https://nationalparentsorganization.org/blog/3977-researcher-what-hap-3977
  6. Suarez, N.A., Mimiaga, M.J., Garofalo, R., Brown, E., Bratcher, A.M., Wimbly, T., . . Stephenson, R. (2018). Dyadic reports on domestic violence between male couples in three US cities. American Journal of Men & # 39; s Health, 12(4), 1039-1047. doi: 10.1177 / 1557988318774243
  7. Swan, S.C., Gambone, L.J., Caldwell, J.E., Sullivan, T.P., & Snow, D.L. (2008). A review of the survey on the use of violence by women with close male partners. Violence and victims, 23(3), 301-314. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2968709
  8. Truman, J.L. & Morgan, R.E. (2014). Non-fatal domestic violence, 2003-2012. Justice Department of the United States Department of Justice. Retrieved from https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/ndv0312.pdf

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