In today's turbulent world, the demands of life can end up dictating your relationship and not vice versa. Sexual intimacy is often one of the deaths. Time, stress and busy schedules make it difficult for couples to find time when both partners are interested and available for sex.
If you and your partner wish to have more or more sex, the first step is to prioritize this as you do other important things in your life. One way to start this new approach is to have sexual intercourse with your partner.
A sexcation is a vacation that is exclusively devoted to the close connection with your partner. Sexual functions work well on a long weekend where you will have 3-4 days away from the stress of your normal life. Let's discuss how to design your sexcation in order to maximize the chances of success.
Step 1: Overcoming obstacles
You may think, "I do not have the time, money, childcare, energy, etc. for a sexual intercourse with my partner." It is quite possible that now is not the right time for you to have sexual intercourse. But before proceeding with this conclusion, I encourage you to examine your options with an open mind.
Remember that sexual intercourse is not about exaggeration. On the contrary, the main focus is to create space for quality time together.Let's start with time. How do you spend your time? Are you busy with children, family visits, work or projects? All this is important, but where does your relationship fit? Having a lively romantic relationship is something most want, yet many of us do not give us permission to give it a priority. If you can not tune out the consecutive days off, start with one day and see how it goes.
Let's look at the economic aspect. Remember that sexual intercourse is not about exaggeration. On the contrary, the main focus is to create space for quality time together. You could even plan a sexcation in your home if you can not travel.
If childcare is an issue, I encourage you to think creatively how to solve this problem. If you have a baby, you may be able to build your time together around when the baby is asleep. If you have small children or older children, you may be staying with a friend or family member for the weekend.
I know it will not be easy to navigate all these obstacles, but I've seen couples do it with persistence. The following instructions are designed to help you connect or reconnect if you are away from one another.
Step 2: Create your oasis
Once you have time in your calendars and you choose the position of your sex cath, it's time to create your oasis. To do this, you may need to draw a buffer between the stress of normal life and your tight time together. Perhaps it is best to plan your first full day of sexual intercourse as a day of isolation. If you only have one or two days in total, you may need to shorten this time period.
During the day of isolation, think about what to do to feel your presence with your partner. If you need to finish loose ends of the week, you can do it, but limit your work to no more than 1 hour, then leave it aside for the rest of the time. You and your partner may also have unresolved conflicts from the week. * If you * feel that you can talk with calm and respect, do not spend more than 1 hour discussing the topic to reach a resolution or a stop point. If you can not discuss it calmly, make a contract with each other to put the issue aside during your sexual relationship. There is no time for fighting and fighting. it's time to reconnect and focus on things that you like each other.
After completing the loose ends, each partner should participate in self-service activities for the rest of the buffer day. A good recipe for self-care includes:
- Sleep or rest.
- Using mindset to tune in your thoughts, feelings and senses.
- Typography or other forms of self-expression to release feelings and anxiety.
- Self-relaxing activities to calm down and pamper yourself.
Everything is different, so I urge you to think ahead about what works best for you and create a self-service plan. Some people may want to go on a long cycling while others want a hot bath. Some people use meditation while others use motion or dance. Some people are relaxed by rock music, while others respond to classical music. There is no right or wrong way to get involved in self-care.
Step 3: Spiritual and emotional prepayment
Once you and your partner have completed your buffer phase, you can now enter your oasis together. From here through the rest of your sexual relationship, you will be in sexual contact with each other. The pre-sale begins well before the clothes go out. It also includes the connection between them mentally and emotionally.
Consider using the following prompts:
- Each colleague shares your memory the first time you met, including what drew you to each other and how you felt in the early stages of dating.
- Each partner shares 10 things you like about the other person.
- Create a bucket list separately, then share them and discuss.
- Each partner shares your 5 favorite moments of your relationship together.
- Watch a thoughtful or humorous movie and discuss it later. You could also discuss an excerpt from a book.
Step four: Getting sexy
Once you feel spiritually stimulated and emotionally connected, you can begin to incorporate traditional sexual behavior that includes sensual touch. Think ahead about the type of love you would like. Do you like to feel seductive and full? Sweet and sensual? Fun and flirty? Or some combination of these?
It is important to cultivate an environment in which your two feel safe to share your wishes. Crisis and criticism have no place in your oasis. Also, remember that your sexual intercourse is no time to push the boundaries of the other. Instead, focus on activities that you'll enjoy both.
Think of creating a sensual menu you want, such as:
- Oral sex.
- Mutual masturbation.
- A sense of focus.
- Further kisses.
- Exploring the erogenous zones of the other.
- Play Cinch.
Think of using music, smells like candles or lotions or sensual fabrics such as satin or leather. You can also use erotic stories or art to adjust mood. Bring sex toys, sexy toys, underwear or clothes that you would like to use. Be sure to stay well hydrated, well-fed, and rested. Remember, regardless of anything else, your goal is to connect and enjoy as a couple.
If you need help in restoring intimacy in your relationship, you can contact a sex therapist or a husband of counselors. With the support of the right therapist, you and your partner can reconnect both physically and emotionally.
- Gottman, J. & DeClaire, J. (2002). The Therapeutic Relationship: a 5 Step Guide to Enhance Your Wedding, Family and Friendly Relationships. New York, New York: Three Rivers Press.
- Gottman, J. & amp; Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Creating Marriage: A Practical Guide by the Country's Most Important Relationship Expert. New York, New York: Harmony Books.
- McCarthy, B & McCarthy, E. (2014). Renovation of desire, 2nd Ed. New York, New York: Routledge.
- McCarthy, B & McCarthy, E. (2012). smallExotic Awareness: Your Guide to a Healthy Couple of Sexuality, 5th Ed. New York, New York: Routledge.
- McCarthy, B & McCarthy, E. (2009). Discovering the sex of your two. New York, New York: Routledge.
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