Do you always feel that the body you want is always inaccessible? Will it never be lean enough, strong, fit, or healthy enough? Or that there is always someone "better" than you? Here's how to stop hating your body and get rid of the frustration of constant comparison.
Caron Adderley lost 55 pounds during the 11 months.
And for a brief period, he felt satisfied with these results.
While her family and her friends (and the rest of the world) looked at her perfectly, she was soon unhappy. "Although I was more relaxed than ever, I now wanted six ABS packs," says Caron.
After all, really fit people have washboards, right?
But no matter how thin or powerful she became, or what new goals she achieved, there was always some "better" person to compare herself to.
Instead of appreciating her progress, she kept wanting more.
In 10 years of coaching, I've come across countless stories like Caron. Both men and women.
Regardless of where you (or your customers) are on the health and fitness journey, it is common to feel like:
- You're never where you want to be.
- Everyone else is doing better than you.
- Even your best effort is not good enough.
I call this comparison game.
And if you're stuck on it, you know how soul-sucking it feels.
But you don't have to keep playing. (Not your customers either.)
In this article, we'll explain why you can't stop comparing yourself to others – and why you always feel like you're not measuring up. (Spoiler alert: It's completely normal, according to science).
Most importantly, we will give you five strategies to help you win the benchmark for good – because a healthy lifestyle should lift you, not bring you down.
A secret to compare: Everybody does it.
It is human nature to compare ourselves with others.
Back in the 1950s, the renowned psychologist Leon Festinger, Ph.D. applied the term social comparison theory.
The idea: To measure our "success" in any area of life success – career, intelligence, and yes, appearance – we look at each other for benchmarks.
But we are not just looking anyone.
We compare ourselves to our "peer group," says Karen North, Ph.D., a clinical communications professor at the University of Southern California.
This group, explains Dr. North, is made up of people who understand that they are around us at the same level in any given trait.
For example, if you are a high school basketball star, you will probably be comparing the top players in your area, instead of all the stars of the NBA.
Now, it's probably no surprise that your friends, neighbors, and coworkers usually fall into your bench.
But you can also be influenced by people who don't have a clear connection, such as a movie star, CrossFit champion, or Instagram agent.
"Celebrities can become part of our team at the point where we feel we really know them," says Krista Scott-Dixon, Ph.D., Program Manager at Precision Nutrition and a specialist in psychological counseling.
"Think of how you could watch a Netflix series and attach characters," he says. "This works in a similar way: If you spend time watching or reading about specific people, it can feel like it's part of your team, even if you never knew."
Regardless of who we consider as our peers, we tend to feel good about ourselves when we believe we are in the top third of the team.
The big problem? When we think we are "better" than two thirds of our peers, we change teams. And the cycle begins again.
This is what happened to Caron when it came to body composition.
He didn't start wanting six packs of abs. But as soon as she saw herself as a "fit person," she began to identify with a new group of people who were even poorer, more useful, and more powerful than they were.
And the surprise: All of these people seemed to have visible abs.
If we compare ourselves with others, it is human nature, how can we feel good about our body?
The following five strategies can help you wherever you are now. And of course, they may ask you to try new approaches and make difficult decisions.
But isn't it worth it?
5 ways to stop comparing yourself to others of course.
Strategy # 1: Focus on actions, not results.
You might want to be size 4. 300 bench 300 pounds. Or run 6 minutes.
These kinds of benchmarks often seem very important. Maybe because they offer an objective way of comparing with others. (Red flag alert!) You don't have to wonder how you go. the numbers will tell you.
For some people, these goals are achievable. But for others? They can be frustrating.
After all, we cannot fully control how our bodies respond to a diet or training program. And by setting goals that require a certain outcome, anything that is lacking can feel like failure.
Especially when we see others succeed.
Our solution: Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on completing daily activities that will help you lose fat or gain strength or run faster. We call these habits based on habits.
For example, if you want to lose fat, you can set goals such as:
- Eating lean protein at every meal
- Having five servings of product a day
- Exercise for 30 minutes, three days a week
These actions, which are done consistently, are examples how you lose fat. And it's under your control.
As goals, they shift your mindset by comparison and provide more opportunities to celebrate your success tries– instead of thinking about everything you need to accomplish.
Of course, focusing on actions beyond results may require some mental adjustment on your part. But with practice, you will feel begin to feel natural and right.
You can get started today by adopting the same goal setting strategies we use at Precision Nutrition.
Strategy # 2: Put things into perspective (every day).
It is easy to be obsessed with what we do not like in our bodies.
- Cellulite on the backs of our feet
- How our belly sleeps when we don't hold it
- The parts of the body that we think are too skinny or obvious
Regardless of who you are, you can probably name at least one couple. And very often, these thoughts take up more space than they should.
But reminding ourselves what life really means, we can dilute these negative emotions and make them less powerful.
How? By the simple act of daily journalism.
Don't think of this as another item on your to-do list. Think of it as a quick and easy way to get a daily dose of perspective.
Every day, just write:
- Three things you are grateful for
- One thing you're excited about
- One thing you are proud of (from that day or the day before)
Creating this list can give you a great spiritual boost. Do the usual and you will transform your mindset from a place of comparison to a more enjoyable one. As an added bonus, you can look back on previous entries and see how far you've come.
Strategy # 3: Eliminate benchmarking agents.
Think of a behavior, activity, or place that aims to help you become healthier. Are there any that make you feel less than adequate?
It could be your favorite blog-prep blogger website … because it seems to have endless amounts of time to experiment with new and tasty macro-friendly recipes.
And your life is not exactly like that.
Or it could be:
- This advanced spin class, where you fight to continue
- A diet that leaves you feeling guilty for always "cheating"
- The weight loss challenge team you got into work
When my client Kim started training, for example, her goals were to fit in, feel good and comfortable in her skin. He got faster and stronger and participated in the gym's competitors program, where he began training with incredibly fit athletes.
Suddenly, Kim felt she didn't enough. "I had a sense of deception because I wasn't willing to live the life of a really disciplined athlete," he says.
For Kim, the competitors program had been a comparison. However, having a disciplined athlete was never part of his original goal.
Is there a specific place, person, or practice that always makes you feel "not good enough"?
If you can set your "trigger" for self-comparison on hold, you can take the space you need to re-evaluate your situation and decide what you really want. Then, if you want to continue, you can return to this situation with clear capital and realistic expectations.
Strategy # 4: Transform Your Social Networks.
Get ahead, Marie Kondo your newsfeed.
Look at your friends and "after" lists and ask yourself if every person or account brings joy to your life. If not, don't filter or ignore. (We told you there would be difficult decisions.)
Start by following people who inspire you, educate you or just laugh at you.
These may be people you know, or personalities and influences that give you positive feelings. Your goal is to adapt — a peer group that fosters love for you and your body.
When I give clients this task, they often say that social media, for the first time, is a fun part for them – a part that helps them grow, rather than hinder it.
Strategy # 5: Search for important links.
Earlier this year, Caron – now certified by Precision Nutrition Level 1 – coach, wrote a social media message, revealing that he still weighs in every day.
This is not a habit that makes her feel good or in control. Instead, it feels like the scale is controlling her, thanks to the constant pursuit of measurement.
Carson's act of public acceptance of being "bath-scale" empowered her.
But more effective? The overwhelming support she received from others who could relate.
Her messages and reactions helped her realize that she is not alone in feeling the pressure to keep pushing & # 39; different & # 39; different & # 39;. And I had bet her post helped their, very.
Whether online or in real life, sharing our struggles and stories with other people can be a way to build real connection, community and support – and much more by scrolling through #fitspo on Instagram .
Share the place or image that reveals your true self. Take coffee with a friend. Open to your coach or partner. To be vulnerable.
Genuine conversations won a silent comparison. Every time.
There will always be some poorer, auxiliary and powerful out there.
We all know that.
But instead of focusing on things that move you away from your joy, build your support system. Look for role models and wander around with people who lift you up.
Focus on those who love you for who you are … and who help you love yourself.
If you pay close attention, you will eventually realize what they are seeing in you.
And that's when you win the comparison game for good.
If you are a coach or want to be …
Learning how to train clients, patients, friends or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes-iin a way that helps them fully appreciate their body, their effort, and their progress-It's an art and a science.
If you would like to know more about the two, consider Accurate Nutrition Accuracy Certification 1. The next group starts soon.
What is it?
Precision Level 1 Certification is the most respected nutrition education program in the world. It gives you the knowledge, systems, and tools you need Really understand how foods affect a person's health and fitness. In addition, the ability to turn this knowledge into a thriving coaching practice.
Developed over 15 years and proven with more than 100,000 clients and patients, the Level 1 curriculum is just the beginning in nutrition science and coaching art.
Whether you're already in the middle of your career or just getting started, Level 1 certification is the springboard for you deeper understanding of nutrition, The the power to train, and the ability to convert what you know into results.
[Ofcourseyouare[Ofcourseifyoubargain[Φυσικάανείσαι[Ofcourseifyou’realready student or graduate of Level 1 certification, check out the main Level 2 Certification Navigation. people.]
Interested? Add your name to the template list. You'll save up to 44% and secure your spot 24 hours ahead of everyone else.
We open positions in the brand new Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, October 2nd.
If you want to know more, we've created the following list, which gives you two advantages.
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If you are ready for one deeper understanding of nutrition, The the power to train, and the ability to convert what you know into results… this is your chance to see what the world's top training system can do for you.