Our beings are multifaceted. Our bodies, our minds, our hearts and our spirits have every need. Our bodies must move and feed, but not in excess. Our minds and hearts need learning as well as social and emotional connections, and our spirits need consolation, meaning and clarity about what we value and most cherish.
You can treat your body but neglect your feelings. You can nourish your mind, but melt your spirit, and you can follow spirituality by cutting yourself out of your instinctive life. You can limit what you can get out of your relationships by keeping a superficial focus on your self image rather than investing in meaningful links.
The ways in which we limit, reject and sell ourselves are endless and the end result is that we feel less than total and less than fulfillment.
Types of self-rejection
Some forms of self-rejection are obvious behaviors that cause self-harm, are involved with people who exploit or treat us inadequately, removing people who treat us well and ingesting harmful substances are some of the most obvious ways we can work against us.
Self-rejection can also take subtle forms. Some of these include:
- Resign, or not pursuing our higher ambitions
- They remain in relationships or jobs that are stagnant. They can offer the comfort of familiarity, but no growth.
- Various lifestyle opportunities are turning or missing
- Self-depressed mental habits such as perfection
- Choosing instant satisfaction to avoid short-term discomfort while missing out on long-term performance
You can grab yourself seriously in ways that leave less room to be serious about the parts of yourself that have to be taken seriously. Do you get serious hang-ups and self-image while ignoring your true feelings? Assessing your expectations without seriousness is another form of self-rejection.
When Healing becomes a form of self-rejection
Almost anything can become a form of self-rejection, including mental health counseling. Learning to deal with Recovering our rudders and accessing our true feelings can be an abnormal course. the cut-off feelings were suppressed for some reason.Skills are often important for many people. However, only pursuing a way of coping, as opposed to learning to deal with, while working to resolve what causes the need to deal with, can lead to a lifetime simply trying to cope while things cover. In this scenario, the cause of our internal difficulties is never solved. The path of simple handling becomes burdensome. we learn to survive, but never to thrive.
It may be tempting for clients and therapists to focus exclusively on ways to treat and feel better for the time being, but this approach often neglects the potential for deeper healing.
Recover your Rudder: Access our feelings to overcome self-rejection
Our feelings are our compass in life. It is our inside GPS that tells us what is healthy and what is not. That is why our feelings are good for making decisions – they provide the critical information about what we really want and what we are against. When our feelings are closed and cut off by conscious awareness, we are deprived of our rudders and quenched in the ocean of life.
Recovering our rudders and accessing our true feelings can be an abnormal course. the cut-off feelings were suppressed for some reason. Removing and working through previously avoided emotions can cause anxiety and be painful. But as soon as we learn to unfold our feelings from stress and painful ways of managing anxiety, the course becomes smoother and emotions fulfill their function without undertaking.
When our feelings are connected and connected to the minds of our reasoning, the executive functions, we feel grounded, present and calm, and we can travel to life with all of our resources. Our decisions are not impulsive. these are studied and updated by our true feelings and deeper values.
Feelings are not universal, but without them, we are disconnected from the information that is important to respond to our needs. If the emotional gate is closed, we can not know who we really are, what we really want and what we really appreciate.
Making friends with our feelings
Stopping and reversing the trend of rejection by yourself must begin with our friendly emotional life. A specialist therapist who understands how to deal with emotions as a whole – a cognitive, physiological and impulsive factor – and the barriers to access to emotions can be an invaluable resource when it comes to making our emotional work. Find a therapist to support you through the process of dealing with your feelings and working through rejection of yourself.
Only when we have a companion to our true feelings can we properly tune in to the needs of our body, our minds and our spirit and live in ways that make our human potential. The path of overcoming the response begins with the feeling that it is our feelings. We cooperate with our feelings and from there, our life can flourish. We move from the face of life and from survival to prosperous.
- Coughlin, P. (2004). Intensive short-term dynamic psychotherapy (2nd edition). London: Karnac Books Ltd.
- Damasio, A. (1999). THE CONFIDENCE OF THAT IS THE CONVENTION. New York, New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.
- Ekman, P. (1980). The Person of Man: Expressions of Catholic Emotions in a New Guinea Village. Garland STPM Press.
- Lerner, H. (1985). The dance of anger. New York, NY: Harper & Row, Publishers, Inc.
© Copyright 2018 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. The publication authorization was granted by Johannes Kieding, LCSW, a therapist at Tucson, Arizona
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