Money is an essential part of life. Whether we make a lot of money or just skating, we all have learned the money-related standards. Many of us realize the idea of what money means and we understand its presence in our lives from a very young age.
While there are many ways that money can reflect our mental health, I will focus on three key areas and how they may relate to your personal experience.
1. Relationships and Money
There are several dysfunctional ways that one can use money that reflects the way they are involved in relationships. For example, a person who makes a lot of money and is very successful can live in constant fear that he will never have enough. They save and save and save, avoiding something pleasant or luxurious. This type of person may even feel regular worry about "exhaustion" or does not always meet the economic goal they have in mind. Note that I am not referring to a person who works hard and hits a healthy balance / saving. I'm talking about an absurd fear that they do not have enough that are not based on reality.
This pattern often shows clear things about this person's relationships. Some features include:
- They may have the same fears about love and connection and believe something according to the pattern: "If I'm not always perfect, vigilant or on the lookout, people will not love, accept or appreciate me."
- They can be so focused on money and work that they are moving away from people who love them to focus on these things.
- They may be too rigid and over-perfecting in every aspect of their lives and expecting the same from their spouses, friends and their most dangerous children.
These challenges can directly reduce healthy relationships by creating fear, anxiety, frustration and isolation.
Another model of money that damages relationships is impetuosity and excessive spending. The impulsive host can make a ton of money, or can live a paycheck paycheck; In any way, they spend money as soon as possible and find it in a state of financial deprivation.
A person with this pattern often lives in the fear of being "lost" or in the fear of "regularity" and is often in excessive adrenaline. Their relationships can suffer from this in a number of ways. This type of host can also be impulsive in relationships. They can cancel plans at the last minute to eliminate people who love something "more exciting" or even start getting isolated because they have spent so much money on things that do not matter, they have no financial means to socialize with others.
This can also be very difficult for one's children and spouses. They can spend so much that they forget to pay for electricity or buy a car without asking their husband how they feel. This pattern destroys confidence, security and consistency that are necessary to maintain healthy relationships.
2. Emotions and money
A person's emotional patterns are directly reflected in the way they relate to money. Perhaps the person who is impulsive with the money grew up in a very home he controls. Perhaps their parent was so focused on the strict saving that the child felt trapped. Perhaps this man swearing up and down would never feel financially trapped, and as a result, he turned into an impulsive lord.
This cost pattern, which was a direct form of disobedience developed at a young age in response to a controlled parent, taught this person to resist rules and authority in all forms. They may continue to be dismissed because they have such a fear that they are "controlled" to refuse to comply with acceptable patterns of attitude in the workplace.
The inability to keep enough money to live, to maintain a job or to engage in healthy relationships keeps him exactly trapped as if he were living under lock and key. It's a different kind of trap.
While this person really only responds to a pattern of pain that was very difficult for them in childhood, they continue to create the same trapping sensation that they fear so desperately. The inability to keep enough money to live, to maintain a job or to engage in healthy relationships keeps him exactly trapped as if he were living under lock and key. It's a different kind of trap.
This scenario is just an example of how a decision made at a moment of childish disobedience (and self-protection) can create a pattern of dysfunction that continues to dictate the economic destiny of a person until they are willing to seek help.
3. Basic beliefs and money
Feelings and basic beliefs are not the same thing. Emotions are a reaction to something that happens in our lives that causes a response or is a direct response to long-lasting basic beliefs that may or may not serve us. If you grew up in a healthy family, you may have sound basic beliefs such as "I am worthy", "people are inherently good", "people support me" and "I'm safe." If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you may have some serious painful basic beliefs, such as: "I'm useless," "people are inherently dangerous," and "I always have to go alone."
The basic beliefs that we have in common affect not only the career paths we choose, but also the way we associate and deal with our finances.
A person who feels that everyone is against them can hide their money. They can keep secrets about the money that separates them from their partner, such as borrowing and repaying credit card debt but hiding from their partner. They can refuse to spend whatever they earn. They can live in a bad state or get jobs that are inherently impossible to succeed. They may be excessive and not paid.
Instead, if a person's basic beliefs are healthy and healthy, they can start to survive from an early age. They may go to school for something that provokes them and allows them to be economically easy and generous. They may be able to openly discuss money with their husband in a way that includes clarity and honesty. And they may be willing to ask for what they need and deserve when it comes time to negotiate an increase.
The great news about dysfunctional basic beliefs is that over time they can eventually change. All these challenges around money and mental health can work, heal and change over time.
As with all the pain points in our lives, the first step is awareness and the next step is to ask or allow help. If you have to deal with any of these challenges in your relationship with money, making an appointment with an authorized, experienced therapist is a great place to get started.
© Copyright 2018 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. The publication authorization was granted by Blythe C. Landry, MEd, LCSW, a therapist at Nashville, Tennessee
The previous article was written only by the author defined above. Any views and opinions are not necessarily expressed by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the previous article may be directed to the author or published as a comment below.
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