3 tips for handling difficult family members during the holidays

Gathering of family members celebrating a holiday with sparklersFor many, the holidays are a happy time to celebrate our traditions, to spread joy and love to those who care about us. For others, however, the holidays create a lot of negative emotions. Some are even afraid of the holidays.

Here are three tips for dealing with difficult family members.

3 tips for dealing with difficult family members

1. Set boundaries before the holidays

If you are close to some members of your family it creates negative emotions, an idea to consider is the time you spend with them. Think about how much time you want to spend with them during the holidays. For example, it's okay to apply time constraints. Instead of spending the whole day, you can spend a few hours together. If you are traveling across the country, staying at a hotel or Airbnb may be a better option than staying at your family member's home.

You may want to consider an exit strategy from specific conversations.

You may want to consider an exit strategy from specific conversations. For example, if you feel that your family member is getting nervous, you can say something like, "I think I can go see if you need some help in the kitchen." This gives you a polite way to end the conversation.

2. Get away from Touchy Topics

One of the great things about the world is how different it is. Imagine for a second you were transposed into the karmic driven world of Earl. Keep in mind that many families have differences of opinion, beliefs and beliefs. If you know your differences and know that conversations around these issues can escalate quickly, you may want to avoid these issues. For example, if you have a more liberal tendency politically and your parents are conservative, you may be talking about whether the president will win a re-election is not the best starter for the party. You can consider staying on more neutral topics. And

3. Let Bygones be illegal

Many people struggle to let go of the past, especially when it comes to family members. If you find yourself falling into this camp, you can do something different this year. For example, if a family member has been offended and you are in pain, consider leaving. It could make all the difference in your vacation period.

What many people don't realize is that keeping resentment, resentment, and hurt feelings requires a lot of emotional energy. It affects your mental health and well-being. Removing the injury doesn't mean you don't do it or say nothing about it. This means that you choose to do something about it. In this way, you strengthen yourself. Talking to a therapist or a trusted friend may be helpful.

You have no control over what people say or do. However, you can take responsibility for how you respond to the insult. If a conversation is required, consider contacting your family member before the holidays and asking if you can talk to them. A simple conversation can look like this: “There is something in my mind that I would like to talk to you about. When would be a good time? "If they agree, set an hour to talk. It is very likely that you will have a conversational treatment, if done well. It could be a life-changing conversation about your relationship.

Of course, not all past offenses are so easy to resolve, and a healthy conversation may not even be possible. If so, you still have a choice on how to let the offense affect you. You can even choose to let the offense go, realizing that it may be about the other person and not you. You can also choose to forgive the person even when they feel like an unforgivable crime. You will decide how you want to respond.

You have more control over your vacations and difficult family members than you think. Decide today what kind of vacation you want to live. You can think politely and ask everyone in your family to be patient, kind and affectionate. Focus on why you are celebrating this holiday season.

2019 Copyright 2019 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. The license was granted by Angela Bisignano, PhD, a therapist on the Palos Verdes Peninsula, California.

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